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Tuesday, September 1, 2009

How Weird Can It Be!!!!

DISCLAIMER: The content shown below contains sexually explicit material and may be harmful for children's below 18 Years of Age. The content below is non-fictional and the reader may feel it violent at certain places. If you are 18 years of age and above please proceed else wait for my next blog...

THANKS


I returned from Chandigarh yesterday. I decided to return by CTU bus instead of A/C Volvo which i took while going to Chandigarh. I took the bus from Sector-43. I have visited Chandigarh 5 or 6 times but yet i find this place very confusing. I could not make out which sector is where.
Finally, i started back at 4 PM and on my way i went back to my Happy Old days and so i am sharing it with you...


1) Have you ever done something weird in your life? If Yes then rate yours with mine. I was in Chandigarh this weekend. I reached Chandigarh late at night and i was damn tired because of 9 hours journey and that too in Bus. I checked in at a hotel and got myself 2 Beer. After emptying the stuff i lay flat on the bed fully Naked. I felt like masturbating but didn't feel good about it doing the same old way. I thought of doing something innovative this time. I took one soft rope
and tied it's one end to the fan above and tied the other end with my Dick. Then i laid flat on the bed and switched on the fan momentarily. Literally speaking it gave me immense pleasure that i never felt before. But i advise you not to try this at home.

2) This is some 2 years old incident happened unfortunately to me. I was travelling from Jammu to Delhi alone. The Bus stopped for dinner at Sanja Chulla, Sujanpur. I had my dinner with Dal Makhani and Butter roti. I ate double my capacity and boarded the bus. After 2 hours i began feeling trouble in my stomach. Suddenly i started feeling pain in my abdomen and went to the driver and asked him to stop somewhere as need a loo urgently. He got angry and asked me to control it for sometime. I told him that it's an emergency situation but that guy was stubborn and didn't listened to me. As i was pleading him to stop somewhere i felt i couldn't hold the pressure anymore and released it into my pants. SHIT!!!! I came back to my seat as emergency conditon had passed. Now the interesting part. The conductor shouted and said," Chal ja, bus 10 min ruki hai". I told him,"Hello Boss,the time had passed. you just missed the train. Now carry on". Finally after reaching Delhi i washed all the shit off at the SARVAJANIK SHOCHALAYA at kashmere gate.

3) Time = Final year in my college and just after my placement. I got placed in Satyam and was very happy as i got what i had never expected i would get. The reason is my CGPA was 5.99 in my 7th semester. so me and Varun who both were selected in Satyam went to Rang Mahal for celebration with other friends. I remembered how i got there but didn't remember how i get back to my room. I was hell drunk. When i reached hostel, i was sleeping in common room. Then my closest friend POPO offered me help to my room but i refused stating that i am alright. I bade goodbye and went to my room. It was 4 A.M in the morning and i woke up and found myself sleeping in bathroom of our hostel. I had properly bolted it from inside. May be i thought it to be my room in drunk state of mind.


There are many other weird incidents happened to me but i don't remember now. I soon as i remember any of them i will Post them in my blog. Enjoy reading it and do post any of yours weird tasks....

Monday, August 24, 2009

Exploring India



The day i came back home from Hyderabad, i got myself engaged into new role of TRAVELLER fully sponsored by MAHINDRA SATYAM :P.I have decided to travel and explore INDIA instead of just sitting at home munching Pop-Corn and getting glued to the idiot box. I started my first trip within my home state which i have mentioned in my earlier blog. So i decided to continue this trend and on 3rd August i got the chance to move out of my comfort zone. I left by train on 3rd August to Delhi. I planned to spend 7 days in Delhi but the humid and hot weather of delhi made me change my mind and i decided to move further to Jaipur. As Jaipur is a much better to live during the month of August.
So just after Raksha Bandhan i booked my ticket to Jaipur in ASHRAM EXPRESS but this time i decided to go in Sleeper class as it's just 5 hours journey. The good thing about that
journey was that i completed one complete book "KEEP OFF THE GRASS". That was surely an achievement for me.This year God of rain is not happy with people of North and everywhere the climate is too bad to live and jaipur was the same. Actually the reason of going to jaipur was two pending tasks- First i haven't received my college security and secondly i haven't received my passport since Jan 2008. Another wonderful thing is that Bagga's destiny changed from Pune to Jaipur. Thank GOD to SWINE FLU scare in Pune :P

After a gap of 8 months, i was again in college as an Alumni. WOW! What a feeling. I met my juniors, the thadi wala, canteen wala and ofcourse how can i forget to mention our loving MAI. She must be around 75+ and sits the whole night at thadi to sell ciggies. One day i got a chance to meet one of my most feared teacher----MR Rakesh Bairathi and MR NSU(Actually i still don't know his actual name and everyone used to call him nasu. "WHat's there in a name", rightly said by Rabindranath Tagore). Frankly speaking during my whole college life i hardly spoke to any prof casually and when i left college i didn't even bothered to get blessings from them. But this time as i saw them i bowed before them and sat with them for nearly half an hour. We talked casually and i didn't feel any fear of talking to my Prof. The lesson i learnt is that we never know where our destiny is and whether we are going to visit the place we assumed to have left forvever.
Bagga came the day after my arrival and we enjoyed, Boozed and smoked our way till he left. Now all the fun is over and get back to work. I had to goto Dean Academics for querying about my security. The thing i don't like is talking to these petty clerks. They are so rude and talk to you as if they are the boss and you are no one before them. I have seen officers begging before them. I kept coming to office for 4 days and the reply that i got everytime is that the cheque will take 6 months and will be sent by post and won't be handed over to the candidate. What the crap???? What kind of rule is this???? A full 5 Feet 4 inches candidate is standing in front of you and they can't hand over the cheque. Thinking logically if they hand it over to me it will save them time and money of posting it but i think they have other intentions(Interpret other as you like)!!!!! So i walked out of the office and smoked hastily and decided not to think about it again. I will wait for 6 months and if i didn't receive any cheque then i will teach them a lesson.

Task 2- Passport Office. Passport office being close to my college, i decided to stay at college the night before.I boozed that night and was late by an hour to passport office.
Actually i had planned to go at 8 to passport office but the hangover next day caused me penalty of a day without work and that too when i stood in the line for 4 hours. Just when i reached the enquiry window, the time was over. The next day i reached didn't repeat my mistake and reached an hour earlier. But still the line was way too large. I wondered whether these people have no work to do and how early they got up to stand here. But this time again i was unlucky because the guy told me to deposit 2 forms the next day but i realized that the next working day will come after 3 days. That meant 3 days captivity in Jaipur. I was getting sucked from this place but i had to complete the formalities. So i gathered courage and deposited the forms on next working day and the same day i packed my bags and set off for DELHI.
I told Dad about my departure for delhi when i ha already took a bus to delhi. The bad news now- Autowalas were on strike. I said to myself,"No problem. I will take Metro. No need of Auto". But again my Kismat was no good to me. I reached 1 hour late and i had no option to catch Metro. Now no Auto, no Metro, what next!!! It was 10:30 P.M and location was Delhi. I was scared from inside but showed no signs from outside. I hired one taxi to Dwarka. Saala these taxiwala take advantage of strike and hiked their fare by almost double. The deal was fixed at 600 but i had no option. He was driving through the busy lanes of delhi as if he were Schumacher. My heart was pumping Ultra fast and could come at any moment. I was hell scared. I had no idea of where that guy was taking me. When i saw some familiar signs of Dwarka i felt light and finally i reached my destination without having sexual assault. Actually that guy was becoming too friendly and seemed gay to me.

Back in Delhi i got my new assignment- Typing thesis for my sister. So. i am now a full fledged Social Worker, at home as well as outside. One day i was lucky enough and got the chance to taste Delhi Traffic during Monsoon. I swear i would never ever do that in future and advise not to travel in Delhi after heavy rain. I was at East of kailash. Rain lasted for 1 hour but it was strong enough to make headlines in every news channel. Every nes channel advised not to travel for 3 to 4 hours but i did otherwise. I left at 6:30 from East of Kailash in and auto. It took me 100 mins to reach central secretariat. Apart from the frustration of Jam, there were Delhi Girls all over. They were enjoying the mild rain and were looking gorgeous. Finally, I boarded the Metro to Dwarka.
Metro main mast scene huya baap. Everyone was busy informing their families and friends. One guy standing next to me was typing some message. It was for his Girlfriend and i commit a crime by reading his message. I won't write here what i read but one thing i will say is that the message was
super sexyy.

Finally on 23rd August i returned to Jammu by train. This incident shows the irresponsible Indian Railways doesn't care for passengers. The Platform that was displayed for my train was 8. So i reached platform 8 and sat there waiting for train to come. I was a bit apprehensive about the platform i was standing because there were very less passengers on that platform. Then i asked one guy at IRCTC cafe about the train and then he told me that the train i was waiting was standing on other station. I rushed to other platform. Thank God i was aware and had enough time that i had no problems. Their were other passengers who were also caught in the crisis like me. So Ms Mamta, it's good that you have started Toronto express and ladies special but most important thing is that all of this is a waste when information
system is faulty. It is as important as other things.

I am back in home. As life is a random function, i am not going to plan anything for future. I will just live in present and make my present happy and joyous and let the future be automatically be shaped according to it.
I will be back with more very soon..........................................

Sunday, July 26, 2009

P Revolution


Erotica, sexual fantasies have become modern toys for teenagers today. And interesting thing is that you get these toys for free.Access to P videos, Pics is unlimited and within your easy reach at the touch of a button.You must have an internet connection at home and know how to delete history. The maturity of youth has been retraced back to 5 years.When i was in class 8th i wasn't aware of computer at all. Leave alone me, cyber cafe's were a rare thing in the past. Now even a 5th standard boyknows all about SEX and surfing Porn sites. Access to web has increased dramatically since. Someone has very rightly abbreviated PORN as"Pornographic obsession necessary for development of youth". First time i saw a BF when i was in class 10th but this episode surprised me a lot.I went to cyber cafe here to check mails when i didn't have internet at home. In my next cabin there were two boys sitting and secretly laughing. I feltannoyed and disturbed by this and asked them to keep quiet but they continued like that. When i finished my work and came out, i sneaked into their cabin to scold them, what i saw was shocking. The boys had opened some XXX site and the boys were not more than 10 years of age. I was hell shocked and didn't said anything to them and paid the bill and left. LAter that day i thought whether i have made any mistake by not telling them that hat they are doing is a crime. I came to this conclusion:
Lack of sex education: parents don't educate them. So they move out to know about it all. They have the urge to know how it happens??? Every human being feels some sex energy when he reaches a certain age. So if it is not subsided, it takes other ways like this one. When young boys see such stuff they get excited and the energy in them goes increasing and they imagine every women to be in be with them. So, negetive thoughtsstart building which hampers growth of positive thoughts which finally leads to zero career growth. So, i felt i made a mistake and should have counselled the guys as well as talked with their parents ideally ;) but that's impossible on my part as i don't have guts to do that. I you have then you can have a try. I welcome your own opinions in this regard. Till then happy surfing and inculcate healthy habits. Stay happy always!!!!

Saturday, July 25, 2009

अज्ञातवास (Exile)


If you remember the time when pandavas were asked go into exile for one year for losing to Kaurava's in a game of gamble।Same is the case with me when on 10th June I was told by my so called annadatta to go on VPP for 6 months at meagre basic pay।Many of us were shocked and started crying like a baby as if some natural calamity has struck and they have lost evrything।Though i have sympathy with the uncle and aunties who have more than 7 or 8 years of experience। But they don't have to worry as market demand for such people is enormous and demand for people like us who have less than one year of experience is very rare. So it's good time to do MBA or look for some odd(to others) jobs like NGOor career counselling or event management etc. After getting my LETTER of ACCEPTANCE for VPP i don't know what happened to me. I felt excited, overjoyed and felt butterflies in my stomach. We had 9 days to accept the proposal but i accepted it right away and asked my friends to have a D-Party tonight to celebrate VPP. The most amazing thing of that day was that there was a WWEBINAR by some Kutty, Putty or some fucking bastard addressing all satyamites about launch of VPP. He was a ark skinned typical GULTI with huge moustacheand addressed with this- "You are found eligible for this program......". What man?? What is he trying to make out?? I this a thing of pride. I want to ask himif he was sent to VPP, should he say the same words for himself also?? Never!!! So, we celebrated the event and the next day i made up my mind of leaving hyderabad and go home as i was somewhat feeling homesickand their were other reasons too. How i managed to stay in Satyam for 11 months and passed my training is a commendable effort from me. But now i realised after 11 months that i am not made for ITas i don't like .NET or C or C++ neither i make out the logic to write a program. Secondly, the day i was kicked out of the project i wasn't dooing anything valuablelike neither i was studying nor making any effort to find new jobs like Vinod who was fighting with all spirit to find one.

Finally on 30th June i was in S-8 of DAKSHIN EXPRESS to NEW DELHI. I was sad of not being able to celebrate my anniversary of completing 1 year at Satyam. 26 hours of journey was like travelling in hell for me and i swear to GOD i won't travel in Sleeper class especially during monsoon season. Their were small insects flying all over us and the heat and humidity was unbearable and i was sleeping with my head to toe covered with my LUNGI. U won't imagine i slept half naked in that night. Someone has said if you want to explore real India you must travel in Sleeper Class and that i felt to be true during my journey. Their was a Sardarji family sitting in front of me. I felt that now sardar is here then koi tension nahin, time paas ho jaayega. But Sardarji's son was shy to talk to and as far as i remember he hardly talked during whole journey( Sardar's are not like that or are they???).Actaully it's not their fault as they were from Alwar( CHOM Sardar). Now Dinner time!!!I was hell shocked to see diet of sardar and sardarni. They ate 6 chapati each and that too the size of a large Pizza. After that they had bananas and sweet. They were travelling with their whole kitchen with them. They had a huge water cooler(Capacity 20l).Their were two small cute little sisters from Haryana. The small one was sharo, witty and talkative. I enjoyed their company and had a goo time. Finally the train reached New Delhi at 6:00 A.M in the morning.

Sunrise is a very pleasant experience. I felt a great energy that morning as my life is going to take a new turn like this one.So i reached Dwarka within an hour's drive from Hazrat Nizzamuddin. Ohhh i forgot to tell about my latest look. I had long beard( 70 days without shave) and beads mala in my right hand and looked like someone coming from training camp in Pakistan. Everybody was hell shocked at my appearance. My Dad came to know about my beard and &*(&)!@#$%$$^^%^.Next day i became chikna launda once again. I spent 10 days in Delhi and again moved on to Jammu (My Home, My heaven). As some rightly has said Your home is your heaven.Just as i stepped in, i said in silence,"what the fuck?". It was hell hot and humid. I wondered how people survived in this condition. Their were no rains till 8th Julywhen compared to last time at this time rivers were flooded with rain water. But where there is a will, there is a way. Thank GOD my dad had installed A.C this year, so i felt the chill of Shimla o Kashmir. i have sen many changes here in the past three months as cell phone operators have increased to 6 and polythene is banned here. Power situation is much better now (people have become sensible about paying bills or PDD has become strict).

I travelled for few days to kashmir, had darshan at MATA VAISHNO DEVI JI and roamed, roamed and enjoyed. Now i have settled at home with my books around me and my Tata Photon Plus. Right now i am planning to do MBA and preparing for it and also i am hoping to do some work for social cause and have applied for that i 2 NGO's. I am Still in search of my destiny???



Monday, May 18, 2009

Telephonic Interview

Hi Guys how are you out there. Doing great and having fun. I think I told you that I am now on bench since 8th May 2009. I am going to tell you about my experience after getting released from project. I had to report to RCC at Satyam Gateway on 8th May. I was feeling a bit relaxed as I slept till 11 in the morning. We reported at 12 noon and were back to our flat by 2:15. That is what I call A perfect Private cum PSU job for me. No one is there to question you about why are you so late. Also I haven’t shaved for last 14 days. I have no plans to become a Mullah Omar or so but it’s like that only. I don’t feel like shaving anymore now. After a great and joyous weekend it’s my second day on bench. As usual I got up at 11 and we marched towards Satyam Gateway at 12. As I stepped out of my flat I got a call from landline. I picked up and had a telephonic Interview that lasted for around 20 minutes. He asked me about 10-15 questions on networking and I was looking foolish in my replies. I fumbled in almost all questions he asked me. Then at last he told ‘are Sharmaji aise nahin chalega…..you need to back fire or you will be left behind in the race’. Then I got a mail from him which is shown above. I laughed at reading the mail and my friends also made big joke of it. One guy told me that he doesn’t know how to write mails??? But lately I thought that the guy isn’t that bad. He has spoken the truth that I really need to Reboot . Atleast I got someone who has straight forwardly put forward his views about me. I am grateful about him. I don’t find any wrong in this. I see it the other way round (in a positive sense). I am still in touch with him and hope to meet him soon. I will let you know my experience of the meet. Till then enjoy and have fun. Remember to stay REBOOTED :P)

Must Watch!!!

Are you scared of Ghosts? Have you ever seen a ghost or a witch? I think most of you will say ‘NO’ . Now I rephrase my question like this one : Have you heard of Ghost stories in your town??? Absolutely ‘a strong YES’. Nobody has seen ghost in his real life but still we are afraid when we watch a horror movie or when we are alone at home esp. at night. Why this is so? I think this is all because of the data that has been fed into our mind when we were young by our very respected elder people. And this data is non-erasable. Once we are afraid of dark then no power on earth can remove this fear. Actually we feel afraid because at that time we are in unconcious state. If we manage to remain in concious state in any situation we tackle everything but it requires one to focus his whole energy to the seven tatvas. Only few individuals have done that in the past( Buddha, Vivekananda, and more).Let's not get into intricate details of this as it will become a topic of debate rather than a Post. so, this Sunday I saw one such documentary. It is about three students somewhere in America who decided to do some research on witches. So they went out on an adventurous trip to the woods. They spend 4 nights in the woods and the nights were freaking frightening. At times they had their hearts jumping out in their hands. Their Ass was on fire and still you hear them saying ‘I am Ok, I am not scared’. Then when they woke up one night one of their friend goes missing. Then other problems appear like one freak guy kicks the map and they get hungry and tired to explore the woods anymore. I don’t understand what type of these fucking Americans are??? First they go out on adventure and then they cry and beg for help in the woods. At last the two guys left couldn’t survive the witchcraft and lay dead deep in the woods. If you get a chance please see ‘The Blair Witch Project’…………………………..

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Regret

First of all i am sorry for being out the blogging picture for so long. Actually, there are reasons for this. First Blogspot is blocked in Satyam network and secondly, i was bit busy in finding solace/truth. Finally i succeded in my effort and i promise you that i will keep posting post from now on regularly. In this post i will discuss only about what i went through in the past one month or so. After 7th Jan era, there was a lot of chaos in Satyam regarding firing. This made me somewhat very insecure and frustrated. Also the excitment of getting into project was dying in me beacuse i came into reality how project works here. No logical work!!! A small kid can do the task that we were asked to do. Sometimes i feel that why i am in this fucking testing circle. As Bagga says "Enjoyment should be there", so i thought to fing some task in which i can enjoy. The moment i got when i got one mail from Satyam Foundation. They have organised SUMMER CAMP in which every weekend one trip is organised to any one of the underprivileged shelter homes. I enjoy a lot over there being with the kids. We play, we laugh, we dance and lots more. Now i will answer about what happens in office??? From the last 10 days our project cycle is completed and next cycle is scheduled after 6 weeks. So, literally speaking there is no work in office. I reach office by 11 A.M and do trading till market hours are over and then i do blogging on satyam blogs. Now our Project FLCL has started new sayapa.....Training on QTP is being given to all team members. The same training we have been trained 5 months back. Now i am afraid that after training whether we will be having an OLA or not??? Oh ya the best thing that i liked was CPL(Citi Premier League). I enjoyed a lot and made handsome 35 runs but were not enough to save my team. That all what i had to say about my life. Also the good or bad whatever you may say is that my thirst for Sharaab has increased(almost every weekend and that too continuous 3 days). But i have reduced my Ciggi intake to 2 or 3(max). So, bbye and post your comments. I will be back with my another post in a few days. Hope you enjoy reading it.