Bullying

 

“You never look good by trying to make someone else look bad”.

She was crying inconsolably and I asked her what made her cry. She kept on crying but didn’t utter a word. I did not know how to console her. So, I let her take her own time until her tears dried up and then I again asked her the same question. She was a student of 5^th standard where her class mates had named her kaali katti (black buffaloes’ calf) for her colour. I was shocked and speechless.  I tried to comfort her and then conducted a moral lesson class where I counselled students and made them understand that such actions are immoral and not acceptable. Next morning I prepared a lecture on bullying and delivered it in the assembly. If by giving one moral lesson, society change that easily then life would have been so easy. Was it enough for us to bring a change?

Just another day I was watching a video of some journalist updating us about the Covid status which is the hot topic today, there I noticed few cynical viewers were commenting on his looks, his dressing sense and all of that. It was totally in humane and unkind thing which made me really sad. My eight years old niece has become conscious eater and chooses dresses as which one will fit her in a way that she will look slimmer. Having healthy eating habits is appreciable but choosing this life style in too young age where she was supposed to be happy only, is actually worrisome. What kind of world we are presenting to our next generation. Should we not be concerned about the things our children are facing in schools and their personal lives?

 Bullying among students in school life is very common and I guess all of us have faced it in some time of our student life. For me, it may be possible that some years back children were not too much affected by this kind of leg pulling. Gradually it became trend to bully anyone for anything and no one ever bothered to take it seriously. It was taken very casually.  As the time passed by, this bullying has now become body shaming. Those people who were used to bully others in schools have developed a habit of body shaming on growing up.  They don’t realize how impactful their gestures are, for others in surroundings.

But in today’s era it has become a social issue, affecting children as well as older in many ways. Mental health of many of us is being affected. This issue is not a thing in schools only but on social media and societal gatherings also.

Change cannot be brought out be mere debates and discussions but by taking responsibility to change and it is possible only when we all get ourselves involved in changing these things at ground level. Guys it is high time where we as responsible parents need to teach our kids to respect other humans just for being humans and not for some kind of attractive looks. Children should be taught about compassion, affection and empathy for everyone around them and not just for their favourites. Respect each other for what and how they are and not for some special features otherwise we as humans will fail for developing a very dry and without any empathy society for our next generations where there is no humanity.

‘Changing today will be a change tomorrow.’

The author of this blog post is my wife, Chandni. Do share any instances of bullying if you had been a victim. Also share how can we bring a change in our society.

'This post is part of Blogchatter's CauseAChatter'  (https://www.theblogchatter.com/causeachatter)

Confessions: Pain in Soul

The phone buzzed under my pillow. I received the call and got the news of her death from COVID19. I was shattered completely. I felt as if all my energy oozed out of my body. I wanted to see her for the last time but again I couldn’t convince my mind to call on her number. Various memories started to flash back. 

We were not in touch for nearly two years. Our connection or affection or compassion never faded but we got so busy in our own lives dealing with various issues, we usually lose our old contacts and even our very close friends. She was one of my close friends. She was amazing person. I am a little selfish and choosy in making friends. She and I were together since college and then PG. It was not casual friendship, but some good bond was there. We had been friends for nearly 10 years. 

She was an amazing person, a lovely girl, a nice human being, very compassionate, beautiful and her dressing sense added to her personality. I am actually short of words to describe her. She was just a complete person. She used to lecture me for my many flaws which were annoying but the intention behind lecturing was quite clear that is love and care for me. She used to scold me for different issues. But I know she actually loved me as I do. 

After marriages usually girls don’t keep in touch with each other and here happened the same. The contact broke and I was like she is also doing well with her new married life. I want to confess here she do called me so many times but I really don’t know why I had not attended her calls. I was afraid to call on her number and made lame excuses of not being free but there came no thought of calling her back. I wished her new year but there came no reply and again I thought she might be busy with her new life and even thought maybe she had conceived or become a mother. I took this thing casually again. 

But on receiving her death news I made some calls and received very sad news as she was suffering from Leukemia for last one plus year and was in Delhi for her treatment. It broke me totally. I am depressed and shattered as I had lost an amazing and a very nice human being. She was love and kindness to me. I can’t forget you and forgive myself for not taking your calls. It will always be guilt and I deserve this. 

Folks, please do connect to your favorite's, as life is unpredictable. You never know whom you are going to lose next and I can’t describe the pain of not saying goodbye and that pain never let you sleep peacefully. I don’t know why she was calling, what she wanted to share and what she was suffering. I don’t even know what is more painful ‘losing her or not seeing her at her last moment, or guilt of not being available to her in those difficult times. I just want let her know that I wasn’t aware that you are enduring so much pain otherwise I would have been available to you. Take your time out of your busy schedule and do connect to all those who are your favorite as tell them how you feel about them and remain in touch otherwise you will not have time to describe that how much they matter to you. “I loved you so much”. I hope you are relieved of all the pains and now you are resting in peace. Wherever you are, I hope you will read this message and forgive me. Om Shanti!

"The author of this blog post is my wife, Chandni. If you do like the story, do comment below with your feedback and suggestions how to overcome the guilt or sadness she is having in her heart".

'This post is part of Blogchatter's CauseAChatter'  (https://www.theblogchatter.com/causeachatter)'

The Boundaries of Sanity by Mira Saraf: (Book Review)

  

                                               

Mira Saraf has beautifully crafted five stories of five different people who are dealing with a variety of mental issues in the form of guilt, anxiety, self-image and so on.

Story 1 - Solitary Confinement 

The first story is about a woman named Mrinalini dealing with a situation of solitary confinement on an unknown island and constantly dealing with her inner demons. The story somehow reminded me how Tom Hanks got stuck on an island for several years all alone in the movie ‘Cast Away’.  

Story 2 - Spilling over the edges

Guilt is a feeling which if done cannot be changed. The Second story is about a woman engulfed with guilt imagining her married life with Reyansh falling apart. 

Story 3 - Senseless Worries

The third story is about how Tanya who recently got separated from her husband starts suspecting her friend, Amrita whom she gave asylum to after she got separated from her husband. She is dealing with an injury on her arm which looks like some serious disease.

Story 4 - The Mirage

The fourth story is about the author who is writing a novel one day and suddenly some hallucinations cause her mind to believe there are things which actually don’t exist in reality. 

Story 5- The Storyteller 

And the last story is about the journey of a man through time and thoughts. During his travel he finds his right muse and thus discovers his lost passion.

The book is short and can be finished in one go. The language is very easy to understand, however it makes the reader confused. At times I felt as if all the stories are connected with each other. The stories are very sadistic in nature as all stories have the main character going through some sort of aloofness. If you are a person who loves to read humor, then this book is not for you. Personally, I liked the first story “The solitary confinement”. The reason is simple as I could relate the main character in the story with Tom Hanks in the movie Cast Away.

Do click on the Amazon link and enjoy reading all five stories in one go and that too in #Kindle edition. 

Rating: 3.5/5

                                                                        

Unspoken- A bouquet of Short Stories (Book Review)

It has been quite a while ago since I read a book. I am so much engrossed with my mundane life that I hardly get time to sit and read. A month ago, I logged in to #Blogchatter and updated my profile. I promised myself to get back to my old routine of writing blogs and reading books. I applied for book review program by #Blogchatter and found many authors offering their collection up for reading review. Out of so many books, I choose the 'Unspoken: A bouquet of Short stories" by Ms. Sadhana Wadhwa. I received my ebook from the author on Feb 8, 2021 and I would like to confess that until yesterday I didn't get time read the ebook. Yesterday I received the email from the author asking for a review if I had read the book. I felt ashamed at myself. I put a note in my task list for today and completed the entire book in one hour and that too in the waiting lounge of my daughter's playschool. For this I want to seek apologies from the author for the unnecessary delay in writing the review.

Now about the book or rather ebook. This book definitely a treat for book reader's especially those who are not so used to reading large novels or stories. This will give the beginners a good start to get into the mood of reading habit. It is a collection of  seven enriching stories of people around us. If I have to explain the seven stories in one line, here is what I have to say.

 

1. Deliverance: The story is about the dilemma of a married woman to choose to save her husband's life over her new-born child.

 

2. Unfinished Business: It is true that life seldom gives us a chance to rectify past mistakes but when it does, we shouldn't let go of the second chance. The story revolves around two persons Mihir and Jaya who coincidentally get another chance to live together.

 

3. Stella: The unusual friendship between Stella and Maya and their final acceptance of the truth.

 

4. Three To Tango: Bollywood has gave us umpteen movies with love triangle. This is a love story of Rishaan, Kiara and Diya. Read this fascinating story to know who will get the love and who walks away.

 

5. The Date: This is the story which I really liked by the kind of suspense author has kept it right until the end. It is a story about Aditi’s unusual date with a loved one.

 

6. A Twist Of Fate: The story of unfortunate fate that awaited the protagonist, Shantanu. After reading the story, I literally got goosebumps. 

 

7. The Doll: A suspense thriller about a talisman doll found by an elderly couple in their apartment.

 

After reading the story, I felt a feeling of Deja Vu as I have heard this story before. The language used is very easy to understand without use of any bombastic words of English.  The author has initiated the stories in a very compelling manner and held the reader's attention until the end when the climax is revealed. A big thank you to Ms. Sadhana Wadhwa for sending such a wonderful book for review. I eagerly look forward to reading some more stories from you in future. Just one suggestion for your future books, please include a relevant and interesting cover page design which looks more appealing to the reader's. 

Do click the Amazon link below and enjoy reading all the seven stories in one go and that too in #Kindle edition.

 

Losing our Green Pasture

 

The story goes back to 14^th century B.C when Raja Jambo Lochan, while on his usual hunting mission around the present Bagh-e-Bahu fort area saw a Tiger and a Goat drinking water from the same pond. It was an unbelievable sight as to how a predator and prey were drinking water from same pond unaware of each other’s presence. This made him think that the soil of this place is so magical and virtuous that no living creature holds any enmity against each other. And this is how Jammu city was established on the banks of river Tawi.

Pic Credit: Greater Kashmir

Yesterday a very disturbing incident happened very close to the place where I live. You all must be aware of news about a Leopard which ventured into the city limits. Within minutes the news spread like wildfire and became an instant hit all across #Google and #SocialMedia platforms. Unfortunately the beast brutally injured a security guard and a wildlife department official. The beast was later captured by Wildlife department by giving a shot of tranquilizer.

Pic Credit: National Geographic

    Man-made destruction

     Pic Credit: Google Sites

Now the big question is: Why are the animals moving from their habitat into the city chaos? The simple answer is that we humans are intruding into their natural habitat for development in the name of SMART city project, real estate projects or wood smuggling. Recently the govt. announced its decision to move the Jammu High Court to Raika Forest area citing the traffic problem leading to the present location in Janipur. The locals have raised their objections to the proposed construction and requesting govt. to reconsider their decision and think some alternative solution to the problem. To construct the new High Court building, around 3000 trees are needed to be destroyed to achieve the dream of SMART CITY. But what about the living creatures who are living in these forests for centuries? Where will they go? Won’t they migrate to city area? Are we not falling prey to the predators? As a well informed citizen of the country, I understand development is the way forward but is it right to do so at the cost of natural habitat destruction? I feel it is possible to achieve development goals without disturbing the flora and fauna. And to do that, we need look beyond conventional thinking. This is where administration need to create a public forum and invite brilliant entrepreneurs and submit sustainable development ideas.

I end the post with a quote from Bob Brown, “The future will either be green or not at all”. It is on us to decide what we want. Let’s build a planet where all living creatures live without any enmity against each other like it did centuries ago.

This post is part of Blogchatter's CauseAChatter'  (https://www.theblogchatter.com/causeachatter).

Managing the Waste: Understanding the Rules

I hope you must have thoroughly read my earlier posts on #SolidWasteManagement and I expect we are now on the same page. Before we move further, I would like to share a piece from Daily Excelsior (a popular newspaper published in #JammuAndKashmir), dated 22 November 2018 - SWM-Bye Laws. The division bench of state high court has directed the state govt. to frame model #SolidWasteManagement Bye-laws within a period of six weeks and make sure it is adhered by all local bodies strictly.

First let us understand what #SWM 2016 rules are. As a citizen of this country it is our primary responsibility to be aware of the rules which are being taken by the govt. for the betterment of the society. The following points 2,3,5,6,7 and10 are must for households and residential colonies. Point 13 is for street vendors and points 16,17,18 are for product companies to incorporate such practices in which they create awareness about #SWM and take back the used articles for reuse or recycle.

In an effort to curb plastic waste, #Nestle India has joined the #SWM campaign by the name ‘Wrappers return program’. Read it here - Nestle India-Waste Mangement Story

-The Rules are now applicable beyond Municipal areas and extend to urban agglomerations, census towns, notified industrial townships, areas under the control of Indian Railways, airports, airbase, Port and harbor, defence establishments, special economic zones, State and Central government organizations, places of pilgrims, religious & historical importance.

   The source segregation of waste has been mandated to channelize the waste to wealth by  recovery, reuse and recycle.

   - Responsibilities of Generators have been introduced to segregate waste in to three streams, Wet (Biodegradable), Dry (Plastic, Paper, metal, wood, etc.) and domestic hazardous wastes (diapers, napkins, empty containers of cleaning agents, mosquito repellents, etc.) and handover segregated wastes to authorized rag-pickers or waste collectors or local bodies. Here we as an individual can help achieve this step.

     -Integration of waste pickers/ ragpickers and waste dealers/Kabadiwalas in the formal system should be done by State Governments, and Self Help Groups, or any other group to be formed.

    -No person should throw, burn, or bury the solid waste generated by him, on streets, open public spaces outside his premises, or in the drain, or water bodies.

     -Generator will have to pay ‘User Fee’ to waste collector and for ‘Spot Fine’ for Littering and Non-segregation.

    -Used sanitary waste like diapers, sanitary pads should be wrapped securely in pouches provided by manufacturers or brand owners of these products or in a suitable wrapping material and shall place the same in the bin meant for dry waste / non- bio-degradable waste.

       -The concept of partnership in #SwachhBharat has been introduced. Bulk and institutional generators, market associations, event organizers and hotels and restaurants have been made directly responsible for segregation and sorting the waste and manage in partnership with local bodies.

     -All hotels and restaurants should segregate #biodegradable waste and set up a system of collection or follow the system of collection set up by local body to ensure that such food waste is utilized for #composting / #biomethanation. 

-All Resident Welfare and market Associations,  Gated communities and institution with an area >5,000 sq. m should segregate  waste at source- in to valuable dry waste like plastic, tin, glass, paper, etc. and handover recyclable material to either the authorized waste pickers or the authorized recyclers, or to the urban local body. 

-The bio-degradable waste should be processed, treated and disposed of through composting or bio-methanation within the premises as far as possible. The residual waste shall be given to the waste collectors or agency as directed by the local authority.

-New townships and Group Housing Societies have been made responsible to develop in-house waste handling, and processing arrangements for bio-degradable waste.

-Every street vendor should keep suitable containers for storage of waste generated during the course of his activity such as food waste, disposable plates, cups, cans, wrappers, coconut shells, leftover food, vegetables, fruits etc. and deposit  such waste at waste storage depot or container or  vehicle as notified by the local authority.

-The developers of Special Economic Zone, industrial estate, industrial park to  earmark at least 5% of the total area of the plot or minimum 5 plots/ sheds for recovery and recycling facility.

-All manufacturers of disposable products such as tin, glass, plastics packaging etc. or brand owners who introduce such products in the market shall provide necessary financial assistance to local authorities for the establishment of waste management system.

-All such brand owners who sale or market their products in such packaging material which are non-biodegradable should put in place a system to collect back the packaging waste generated due to their production. 

-Manufacturers or Brand Owners or marketing companies of sanitary napkins and diapers should explore the possibility of using all recyclable materials in their products or they shall provide a pouch or wrapper for disposal of each napkin or diapers along with the packet of their sanitary products.

-All such manufacturers, brand owners or marketing companies should educate the masses for wrapping and disposal of their products.

-All industrial units using fuel and located within 100 km from a solid waste based #RDF plant shall make arrangements within six months from the date of notification of these rules to replace at least 5 % of their fuel requirement by RDF so produced.

-Non-recyclable waste having calorific value of 1500 K/cal/kg or more shall not be disposed of on landfills and shall only be utilized for generating energy  either or through refuse derived fuel or by giving away as feed stock for preparing refuse derived fuel.

-High calorific wastes shall be used for co-processing in cement or thermal power plants.

-Construction and demolition waste should be stored, separately  disposed off, as per the Construction and Demolition Waste Management Rules, 2016.

-Horticulture waste and garden waste generated from his premises should be disposed as per the directions of local authority.

-An event, or gathering organizer of more than 100 persons at any licensed/ unlicensed place, should ensure segregation of waste at source and handing over of segregated waste to waste collector or agency, as specified by local authority.

-Special provision for management of solid waste in hilly areas- Construction of landfill on the hill shall be avoided. A transfer station at a suitable enclosed location shall be setup to collect residual waste from the processing facility and inert waste.  Suitable land shall be identified in the plain areas, down the hill, within 25 kilometers for setting up sanitary landfill. The residual waste from the transfer station shall be disposed off at this sanitary landfill.

-In case of non-availability of such land, efforts shall be made to set up regional sanitary landfill for the inert and residual waste.

In my next post, I will write low-cost methods to implement waste segregation at source. Till then drop your views or feedback. 

A #MeToo Affair

Social Media is such a powerful tool which gives the powerless an immense power to mold it to his/her benefit accordingly. It seems as if people are carrying an FIR system with them all the time. You just vent out all your harrowing experience and click 'submit'. The information spreads like wildfire getting instant 'Likes' and 'Share'. And if the victim is a woman, then the entire hardcore feminist group will blindly support the victim. I wonder did they ever bother to hear the other side of the story. The issue is extrapolated to such a level that the other person loses his ground and even if he/she tries to put forward his/her point, it is stashed in the backyard. Today I am going to share my personal opinion about the #MeToo series of allegations by our pretty ladies of #Bollywood on producers, directors and co-actors. The #MeToo fire was started by Tanushree Dutta who accused Nana Patekar of 'lurking' around on the sets of 'Horn Ok Please' some 10 years ago. Soon after Tanushree Dutta leaves the set and locks herself in her vanity van and then drives in her car. At that moment, a mob of around 50 people mainly from Media and some other group (which is yet to be ascertained) surrounded her car. Later police had to intervene and clear the way for her car. Now there are couple of questions which seek attention.

Here is a video clip of the incident by #IndiaToday.

https://www.indiatoday.in/programme/the-people-s-court/video/tanushree-dutta-nana-patekar-controversy-here-s-what-eyewitness-janice-sequeira-saw-1354313-2018-10-02

1. With the complete video footage available, why is it difficult to find out if Nana Patekar touched Tanushree Dutta with a wrong intention?

2. Why after 10 years, Tanushree Dutta has suddenly found courage to speak up?

3. Who were the people that created ruckus when Tanushree is in her car?

4. We have heard only one side of the story. We haven't heard anything from Nana Patakar yet? Why are we judging to conclusion?

5. What is the definition of sexual harassment? Is there a limit defined by law?

In the next few days the #MeToo movement finds our pretty ladies waking up from deep slumber and joining the sheepish ‘मैं मैं भेड़चाल’. Be it Alok Nath, Sajid Khan, Variamuthu, Sham Kaushal are just a few names. The list is unending and till now we hear a new name popping up. Surprisingly, all incidents had happened as old as 2 decades ago. That means women are more empowered to speak up today. Should we thank the present #Modi government for giving more power to women to speak up? Or can we say women are more safe in #NDA's tenure than in #UPA's tenure? To me, it seems a ‘Quid Pro Quo’ movement. What happened back then was acceptable because a career was at stake and now to steal the show, this #MeToo is proving handy.

As far as my personal opinion is concerned, it is difficult to say now and even after couple of months from now about who’s the real accused and who's the victim but one thing is sure that this #MeToo will definitely become a cause of breakdown of someone not guilty very soon. I pray no victim shall use this power for his/her selfish motives. In a country where we still don’t know who killed #Aarushi and #Jessica, how can you rather rely on the half baked story? The reel life actors get so much influenced by their unreal life that they don’t realize the right and wrong of their action. All they care about is getting back to limelight by pushing others behind.

 It’s high time our judiciary prepares a guideline on sexual harassment or physical abuse and a special cell to deal with such cases in this regard. Using hashtag #MeToo to report the story makes it look more scandalous and majority of the cases the sympathy of the masses is with women.

P.S. The intention is the post is not to hurt feminist brigade. I have shared an honest opinion. Do share your opinion about the #MeToo affair.