Bullying

 

“You never look good by trying to make someone else look bad”.

She was crying inconsolably and I asked her what made her cry. She kept on crying but didn’t utter a word. I did not know how to console her. So, I let her take her own time until her tears dried up and then I again asked her the same question. She was a student of 5^th standard where her class mates had named her kaali katti (black buffaloes’ calf) for her colour. I was shocked and speechless.  I tried to comfort her and then conducted a moral lesson class where I counselled students and made them understand that such actions are immoral and not acceptable. Next morning I prepared a lecture on bullying and delivered it in the assembly. If by giving one moral lesson, society change that easily then life would have been so easy. Was it enough for us to bring a change?

Just another day I was watching a video of some journalist updating us about the Covid status which is the hot topic today, there I noticed few cynical viewers were commenting on his looks, his dressing sense and all of that. It was totally in humane and unkind thing which made me really sad. My eight years old niece has become conscious eater and chooses dresses as which one will fit her in a way that she will look slimmer. Having healthy eating habits is appreciable but choosing this life style in too young age where she was supposed to be happy only, is actually worrisome. What kind of world we are presenting to our next generation. Should we not be concerned about the things our children are facing in schools and their personal lives?

 Bullying among students in school life is very common and I guess all of us have faced it in some time of our student life. For me, it may be possible that some years back children were not too much affected by this kind of leg pulling. Gradually it became trend to bully anyone for anything and no one ever bothered to take it seriously. It was taken very casually.  As the time passed by, this bullying has now become body shaming. Those people who were used to bully others in schools have developed a habit of body shaming on growing up.  They don’t realize how impactful their gestures are, for others in surroundings.

But in today’s era it has become a social issue, affecting children as well as older in many ways. Mental health of many of us is being affected. This issue is not a thing in schools only but on social media and societal gatherings also.

Change cannot be brought out be mere debates and discussions but by taking responsibility to change and it is possible only when we all get ourselves involved in changing these things at ground level. Guys it is high time where we as responsible parents need to teach our kids to respect other humans just for being humans and not for some kind of attractive looks. Children should be taught about compassion, affection and empathy for everyone around them and not just for their favourites. Respect each other for what and how they are and not for some special features otherwise we as humans will fail for developing a very dry and without any empathy society for our next generations where there is no humanity.

‘Changing today will be a change tomorrow.’

The author of this blog post is my wife, Chandni. Do share any instances of bullying if you had been a victim. Also share how can we bring a change in our society.

'This post is part of Blogchatter's CauseAChatter'  (https://www.theblogchatter.com/causeachatter)

Confessions: Pain in Soul

The phone buzzed under my pillow. I received the call and got the news of her death from COVID19. I was shattered completely. I felt as if all my energy oozed out of my body. I wanted to see her for the last time but again I couldn’t convince my mind to call on her number. Various memories started to flash back. 

We were not in touch for nearly two years. Our connection or affection or compassion never faded but we got so busy in our own lives dealing with various issues, we usually lose our old contacts and even our very close friends. She was one of my close friends. She was amazing person. I am a little selfish and choosy in making friends. She and I were together since college and then PG. It was not casual friendship, but some good bond was there. We had been friends for nearly 10 years. 

She was an amazing person, a lovely girl, a nice human being, very compassionate, beautiful and her dressing sense added to her personality. I am actually short of words to describe her. She was just a complete person. She used to lecture me for my many flaws which were annoying but the intention behind lecturing was quite clear that is love and care for me. She used to scold me for different issues. But I know she actually loved me as I do. 

After marriages usually girls don’t keep in touch with each other and here happened the same. The contact broke and I was like she is also doing well with her new married life. I want to confess here she do called me so many times but I really don’t know why I had not attended her calls. I was afraid to call on her number and made lame excuses of not being free but there came no thought of calling her back. I wished her new year but there came no reply and again I thought she might be busy with her new life and even thought maybe she had conceived or become a mother. I took this thing casually again. 

But on receiving her death news I made some calls and received very sad news as she was suffering from Leukemia for last one plus year and was in Delhi for her treatment. It broke me totally. I am depressed and shattered as I had lost an amazing and a very nice human being. She was love and kindness to me. I can’t forget you and forgive myself for not taking your calls. It will always be guilt and I deserve this. 

Folks, please do connect to your favorite's, as life is unpredictable. You never know whom you are going to lose next and I can’t describe the pain of not saying goodbye and that pain never let you sleep peacefully. I don’t know why she was calling, what she wanted to share and what she was suffering. I don’t even know what is more painful ‘losing her or not seeing her at her last moment, or guilt of not being available to her in those difficult times. I just want let her know that I wasn’t aware that you are enduring so much pain otherwise I would have been available to you. Take your time out of your busy schedule and do connect to all those who are your favorite as tell them how you feel about them and remain in touch otherwise you will not have time to describe that how much they matter to you. “I loved you so much”. I hope you are relieved of all the pains and now you are resting in peace. Wherever you are, I hope you will read this message and forgive me. Om Shanti!

"The author of this blog post is my wife, Chandni. If you do like the story, do comment below with your feedback and suggestions how to overcome the guilt or sadness she is having in her heart".

'This post is part of Blogchatter's CauseAChatter'  (https://www.theblogchatter.com/causeachatter)'

The Boundaries of Sanity by Mira Saraf: (Book Review)

  

                                               

Mira Saraf has beautifully crafted five stories of five different people who are dealing with a variety of mental issues in the form of guilt, anxiety, self-image and so on.

Story 1 - Solitary Confinement 

The first story is about a woman named Mrinalini dealing with a situation of solitary confinement on an unknown island and constantly dealing with her inner demons. The story somehow reminded me how Tom Hanks got stuck on an island for several years all alone in the movie ‘Cast Away’.  

Story 2 - Spilling over the edges

Guilt is a feeling which if done cannot be changed. The Second story is about a woman engulfed with guilt imagining her married life with Reyansh falling apart. 

Story 3 - Senseless Worries

The third story is about how Tanya who recently got separated from her husband starts suspecting her friend, Amrita whom she gave asylum to after she got separated from her husband. She is dealing with an injury on her arm which looks like some serious disease.

Story 4 - The Mirage

The fourth story is about the author who is writing a novel one day and suddenly some hallucinations cause her mind to believe there are things which actually don’t exist in reality. 

Story 5- The Storyteller 

And the last story is about the journey of a man through time and thoughts. During his travel he finds his right muse and thus discovers his lost passion.

The book is short and can be finished in one go. The language is very easy to understand, however it makes the reader confused. At times I felt as if all the stories are connected with each other. The stories are very sadistic in nature as all stories have the main character going through some sort of aloofness. If you are a person who loves to read humor, then this book is not for you. Personally, I liked the first story “The solitary confinement”. The reason is simple as I could relate the main character in the story with Tom Hanks in the movie Cast Away.

Do click on the Amazon link and enjoy reading all five stories in one go and that too in #Kindle edition. 

Rating: 3.5/5

                                                                        

Unspoken- A bouquet of Short Stories (Book Review)

It has been quite a while ago since I read a book. I am so much engrossed with my mundane life that I hardly get time to sit and read. A month ago, I logged in to #Blogchatter and updated my profile. I promised myself to get back to my old routine of writing blogs and reading books. I applied for book review program by #Blogchatter and found many authors offering their collection up for reading review. Out of so many books, I choose the 'Unspoken: A bouquet of Short stories" by Ms. Sadhana Wadhwa. I received my ebook from the author on Feb 8, 2021 and I would like to confess that until yesterday I didn't get time read the ebook. Yesterday I received the email from the author asking for a review if I had read the book. I felt ashamed at myself. I put a note in my task list for today and completed the entire book in one hour and that too in the waiting lounge of my daughter's playschool. For this I want to seek apologies from the author for the unnecessary delay in writing the review.

Now about the book or rather ebook. This book definitely a treat for book reader's especially those who are not so used to reading large novels or stories. This will give the beginners a good start to get into the mood of reading habit. It is a collection of  seven enriching stories of people around us. If I have to explain the seven stories in one line, here is what I have to say.

 

1. Deliverance: The story is about the dilemma of a married woman to choose to save her husband's life over her new-born child.

 

2. Unfinished Business: It is true that life seldom gives us a chance to rectify past mistakes but when it does, we shouldn't let go of the second chance. The story revolves around two persons Mihir and Jaya who coincidentally get another chance to live together.

 

3. Stella: The unusual friendship between Stella and Maya and their final acceptance of the truth.

 

4. Three To Tango: Bollywood has gave us umpteen movies with love triangle. This is a love story of Rishaan, Kiara and Diya. Read this fascinating story to know who will get the love and who walks away.

 

5. The Date: This is the story which I really liked by the kind of suspense author has kept it right until the end. It is a story about Aditi’s unusual date with a loved one.

 

6. A Twist Of Fate: The story of unfortunate fate that awaited the protagonist, Shantanu. After reading the story, I literally got goosebumps. 

 

7. The Doll: A suspense thriller about a talisman doll found by an elderly couple in their apartment.

 

After reading the story, I felt a feeling of Deja Vu as I have heard this story before. The language used is very easy to understand without use of any bombastic words of English.  The author has initiated the stories in a very compelling manner and held the reader's attention until the end when the climax is revealed. A big thank you to Ms. Sadhana Wadhwa for sending such a wonderful book for review. I eagerly look forward to reading some more stories from you in future. Just one suggestion for your future books, please include a relevant and interesting cover page design which looks more appealing to the reader's. 

Do click the Amazon link below and enjoy reading all the seven stories in one go and that too in #Kindle edition.

 

Losing our Green Pasture

 

The story goes back to 14^th century B.C when Raja Jambo Lochan, while on his usual hunting mission around the present Bagh-e-Bahu fort area saw a Tiger and a Goat drinking water from the same pond. It was an unbelievable sight as to how a predator and prey were drinking water from same pond unaware of each other’s presence. This made him think that the soil of this place is so magical and virtuous that no living creature holds any enmity against each other. And this is how Jammu city was established on the banks of river Tawi.

Pic Credit: Greater Kashmir

Yesterday a very disturbing incident happened very close to the place where I live. You all must be aware of news about a Leopard which ventured into the city limits. Within minutes the news spread like wildfire and became an instant hit all across #Google and #SocialMedia platforms. Unfortunately the beast brutally injured a security guard and a wildlife department official. The beast was later captured by Wildlife department by giving a shot of tranquilizer.

Pic Credit: National Geographic

    Man-made destruction

     Pic Credit: Google Sites

Now the big question is: Why are the animals moving from their habitat into the city chaos? The simple answer is that we humans are intruding into their natural habitat for development in the name of SMART city project, real estate projects or wood smuggling. Recently the govt. announced its decision to move the Jammu High Court to Raika Forest area citing the traffic problem leading to the present location in Janipur. The locals have raised their objections to the proposed construction and requesting govt. to reconsider their decision and think some alternative solution to the problem. To construct the new High Court building, around 3000 trees are needed to be destroyed to achieve the dream of SMART CITY. But what about the living creatures who are living in these forests for centuries? Where will they go? Won’t they migrate to city area? Are we not falling prey to the predators? As a well informed citizen of the country, I understand development is the way forward but is it right to do so at the cost of natural habitat destruction? I feel it is possible to achieve development goals without disturbing the flora and fauna. And to do that, we need look beyond conventional thinking. This is where administration need to create a public forum and invite brilliant entrepreneurs and submit sustainable development ideas.

I end the post with a quote from Bob Brown, “The future will either be green or not at all”. It is on us to decide what we want. Let’s build a planet where all living creatures live without any enmity against each other like it did centuries ago.

This post is part of Blogchatter's CauseAChatter'  (https://www.theblogchatter.com/causeachatter).

Dilemma : Holi or No Holi

                       

On January 27, 2021, first COVID-19 confirmed case was reported from Kerala and since then there has been no full stop to this world wide pandemic. There was a slight moment of joy in mid-feb when the Covid cases dropped to near zero but this joy was short lived before the second wave of COVID-19 hit six Indian states namely Maharashtra, Gujarat, Bangalore, Kerela, Delhi and Punjab. People who have given up the use of masks and sanitizer somewhere in mid-feb owing to drop in number of active cases, have again started wearing masks in public due to strict imposition from respective state/UT administrations. It has been really frustrating for the public to live under lockdown conditions for fourteen months. When talking to a few people from the business fraternity, they informed our allied sources that they had two options - either to stop work and die of hunger or fight Corona while working.  Although administration is not leaving any stone unturned to aim to 100% vaccination at the earliest apart from increased RT-PCR testing on TTT (Test-Treat-Track) model, still we don’t have to drop our guard and take all precautions until the world gets rid of Corona. 

As we all know, we are just 2 days away from the most popular festival of colors especially celebrated with great fervor and enthusiasm in North India. On this day, there are few mischievous elements in the society who take this festival for granted and force colors or balloons on women in particular. Given the present condition when we hear daily spike in Covid19 cases, there lies a huge risk of getting infected by the disease if we go out and play Holi. The  big question lies ahead of us is: how to celebrate Holi by keeping social distancing?

For your own and other's safety, it is advisable to celebrate Holi at your respective homes. Spend quality time with your family. Cook homemade sweets and relish them with your family. We are living in a generation of 4G and 5G. Think out of the box. Connect through electronic channels to wish their near and dear ones a happy and safe Holi. Various measures must be taken by administration such as ban of Holi celebration in public places, Holi-Milan parties etc must be strictly enforced. It is high time the government must come up with guidelines and directions on Holi celebration to the general public in advance. As they say,” Prevention is better than cure”, why wait for any disaster to happen and repent later. Let us join together to celebrate a safe Holi by brainstorming alternate modes where we can safely enjoy Holi by maintaining social distancing. This pandemic won’t last longer. Only thing we need to understand is that our lives are far more precious than a festival. If we survive this pandemic, we will get many chances to play Holi in future. So this Holi, let’s celebrate Holi differently.

Weekend Getaway Destination: Hunter's Ranch - 2

Continuing my weekend getaway story, we had too little time to explore the resort as it was already getting dark when we reached Hunter’s Ranch. Though we started from our home at 03:15 PM but the credit for the delay in reaching the destination goes to me. I assumed that any resort would have an in-house bar and I can relax in the evening. On the way I thought of inquiring from the resort manager about the Bar facility at the resort. The answer was negative. Shit!!! Weekend getaway without booze? C’mon, I need to get myself something. I took a U-turn and all this process added 45 minutes to the journey. Had I planned before, I could have saved some time and reached Hunter’s Ranch 45 minutes earlier. Anyways just a heads-up for all, Hunter’s Ranch has a strict ‘No Alcohol’ policy but you can always keep your own stuff. I would request Delivery Bear Jammu to see if they can add alcohol delivery to their services list in future 😏

So as I was telling in my earlier post, we were moving around the resort, our daughter was joyous and excited seeing the open lawn. What I liked at Hunter's Ranch is that they have huge farmland where they grow organic vegetables and spices to be used in the kitchen. Jammu Basket can help promote these organic spices on their e-commerce platform so that it reaches maximum people. Apart from organic spices, they also breed desi chicken, cow, ducks and other wild animals. Most of the requirement of the food is fulfilled from in-house organic farms and poultry. Recently they have started breeding fishes as well. If you are interested in organic spices, you can buy farm red chilly, turmeric and garam masala. Other major attractions at Hunter’s Ranch are adventure sports such as ATV rides, rock climbing, rope walking, Zipline, Sumo balloon fighting and Paint-ball.

Fish Breeding

Organic Farming

At Hunter's you can find desi rasoi built of traditional Dogri and Kashimri culture with a earthen chulha and brass utensils. If you are a non-vegetarian, you must try their Kashmiri Wazwan. It is one of their specialty usually offered on Sunday but do confirm before you plan your visit. Other delicacies like makki ki roti & sarson da saag is a seasonal dish prepared during winter season.

Desi-Rasoi

Brass Utensils

Chulha

Hunter’s Ranch is a place worth spending a complete day. It is an ideal place for corporate outings and fun family days. If I had to sum up, I would say, ”The more, the merrier.” The best time to visit Hunter’s Ranch is from mid-September to March. I would suggest not to plan during Summer and hot/humid seasons. The staff of Hunter’s Ranch is very courteous and would serve with great care and hospitality. If you are thinking of staying overnight with family, this place is a day visit place but if you are a gang of bachelors, this place can be a great place to spend night out at a place not so far from your home. 

ATV RIDE

ROPE WALKING

SUMO BALLOON

Weekend Getaway Destination in Jammu: Hunter’s Ranch

I have stayed in Hyderabad and Bengaluru for 9 years and don’t recall having faced any dilemma about planning a weekend getaway trip. All I would do is open Google and use different search queries and google would instantly throw away umpteen results. Now that I have permanently moved to my hometown, Jammu since 2017, planning a weekend getaway trip gives me anxiety. Though tourism potential of this UT is huge but there has been lackadaisical attitude of all previous governments in doing something in developing the tourist potential of Jammu. Trust me, if you are in Jammu and want to plan a trip, google will fail to provide results and you have to find a local friend for travel suggestions. 

With the growth of startups, we do have local entrepreneurs coming up to travel planning. GoLimits is one such startup which can offer you great travel advice and even help you plan your travel better. You can reach out to them for hassle-free travel suggestions. 

Let’s move forward to my personal escapade last week. I was looking for a weekend getaway destination with my wife and 2 year old kid. As I mentioned above, we have limited options to choose from. We shortlisted few places: 

1. Panitop-Surinsar 

2. Krimchi Mansar temples 

3. Atal Setu 

4. Hunter's Ranch Jammu 

5. Shikargah 

The trip to Patnitop is the most revered destination for people of Jammu looking for a quick break from mundane life. But the road until Udhampur is great but the ride beyond Udhampur is one hell of a ride. We planned to travel on Saturday morning, I decided to check with J&K Traffic Police for a road traffic update. The traffic control room informed us that due to bad weather and the day before yesterday traffic of NH-1A was stopped for road maintenance, there was a huge traffic jam. So the idea of Patnitop is dropped. Next on the list is Krimchi Mansar temples. Again the place is nice but lacks facilities such as restaurants, restrooms or hotels. The place is perfect for a day picnic. You need to carry your food along with. Next on the list is Atal Setu, which is again a perfect spot for day picnic and you need to carry your lunch with you. So we were left with only one last option i.e Hunter’s Ranch. As our family trip was long overdue and I couldn’t afford to drop this time lest I had to face the wrath of my wife, I decided to give it a shot and started my planning for the trip. 

Hunter’s Ranch is a place situated in Bajalta town, approximately 20 KMs from Jammu. You need to take Mansar-Surinsar road from Sidhra bye-pass near Honda Hill-vew showroom. The road itself gives you one of the best scenic beauty of Jammu. Once you read Bajalta, you need to take a left turn towards Colonels adventure hub which is approximately 3 KMs from main road.You can also visit Shikargah, a Hotel and restaurant situated on the Surinsar-Mansar main road. Shikargah is a subsidiary unit of Hunter’s Ranch popular for Desi-Murga. The Hunter’s Ranch is spread on a vast farmland in close proximity to river Tawi. We reached at around 05:30 PM. The first thing we did was to check the cleanliness of the room. The room was in hygienic condition and we decided to stay for the night. Our 2 year old daughter was super excited with joy and kept on exploring the campus. We ordered tea and butter toast. Meanwhile our order was getting ready, the manager took us for a brisk walk around the campus. 

I stop here as I got to go now. Will write more about Hunter’s Ranch in my next post. If you are interested you can read more about the place in a piece published in Daily Excelsior Hunter's Ranch: A step towards village tourism

.....To Be continued