Memoir

It all started four years ago. I was working as a software engineer in Bangalore. One fine Friday evening at Electronic City Phase-2, my roommate and I were ready to enter the trance state of Old Monk with homemade cooked desi chicken, my phone started ringing.

Shit!!! Dad calling. 

I rushed out in the open to feel a gasp of fresh air and answered the call in 5 rings.

Hello!

I am fine papa. How are you?

”Dinner हो गया बेटा ?”

I replied, ”हंजी, बस पाँच मिनिट में  करेंगे ”. I lied but they never know this 5 minute will be 500 minutes very soon once the party is on.

After dad, the control was passed to the high command: my mother. After the usual हाल-चाल टॉक, the moment came when my mother threw a bomb,” We have received a perfect match for you and now you need to plan your travel to Jammu and see the girl”. I said,”आपने देखी है तो ठीक ही होगी”. I pretended to be a सज्जन बेटा. But I had a parallel thought running in my mind,”यार एक बार लड़की की फोटो माँग ले. First level of check हो जाएगा”. I muster courage to ask but couldn’t. Meanwhile I remember Mr Old Monk waiting for me. I ended the call and joined back.

Back of my mind, I was still thinking if I get a picture of the lady right now, I can search the entire Google network to just have a glimpse of my ‘going to be’ bride. By the time I finished my first drink (just to let you all know I am a corporate drinker), my phone buzzed. Wow! My sister sent me the pic. That day my respect for SRK grew manifolds (जिस चीज़ को पूरी शिद्दत से चाहो तो पूरी कायनात जूट जाती है उससे पाने के लिए). Secretly I opened my Facebook and started my hunt. After spending 15 minutes endless search, I started to lose hope. All results were negative. Being on social media is as mandatory as having a Aadhar card. If you are not on Facebook, then you are seen with an eye of suspicion.

Why she is not on Facebook?

Has she deleted her account?

What made her delete the account? All sorts of futile questions started popping in my mind. Anyways I gulped down my 3^rd drink with great difficulty, had my dinner and went off to sleep. I swear on Gita, I had a sleepless night that day.

Next morning I planned my vacation to home on occasion of Rakhsbandhan. I reached Jammu a week in advance. Everything was planned by my parents. Our meeting with girl’s family was arranged 5 days before Rakshabandhan. We met, exchanged pleasantries and the first thing I clarified from the girl about why she is not on facebook? Ahh!!! Nothing to worry, I was needlessly worrying. Our engagement was fixed a day before Rakshabandhan. Thank God else I would have got into a different relationship. Finally my first real love story started.

Life has been so cruel to me. Right from my school days, I was a very shy and an introvert kind of boy when it came to interacting with friends of opposite gender. I had great difficulty having eye contact with girls. Many times I stood in front of the mirror and stared in my eyes and questioned my sexual orientation. I search on internet about how to verify your orientation. I decided to undergo few tests on myself. I started watching porn. Test OK (Do I need to explain how?)!!!

Test 2 was a bit difficult for me. I had to make contact (not physical contact) with my class mate. But how to execute? She must think I am a pervert. Anyways I was concerned about my orientation result. Next morning I asked for digital electronics notes from my class rep. While she handed the notes I managed to give a feathery touch. My God!!! That was electrifying. Must be 10000 Volts. Test 2 Pass!!!

It is not about orientation but ones individual nature. After my marriage, I have noticed either I have become extrovert or more open with girls or I am more handsome than before or I am now out of insecurity zone- now I have a life partner.

I hope you all enjoyed the journey with me so far. I will continue with ‘शादी के side effects’ in my next post very soon. Till then keep writing, keep dating until you are a bachelor and eat healthy, stay healthy.

S’ik’cular India.

India got its name from Indus valley civilisation (3300 – 1300 BC), probably one of the well known and developed civilisations. Based on the historical facts available on internet, we find that the people of Indus valley preached 3 religions – Hinduism, Buddhism and Jainism. To support the argument, archaeologists have unearthed artefacts such as stone portraits of mother goddess (see pic), a father god who we consider as synonymous to Lord Shiva acting as a progenitor of the race. Further evidences pertaining to worshipping of Pipal or Acasia tree by the locals to guard them against evil forces. They followed the ritual of criminating the dead along with some offerings and last but not the least, the Great Bath of Mohenjo-Daro can be thought of as a sacred tank which we find today in various temples and sacred places of worship where people take bath and purify their soul and body.

On the contrary, the first evidence of Islam in India can be traced back to 7^th century AD.  Cheraman Juma Masjid in Kerala is thought to be the first mosque in India, built in 629 AD by Malik lbn Dinar. Islam arrived in North India in the 12th century via the Turkic invasions and has since become a part of India's religious and cultural heritage. We have heard about mass conversions of Hindus to adopt Islam by Muslim rulers. Comparing 2011 and 1951 census data, Hindus have dwindled to 79.8% from 84.1% and Muslims have gone up to 14.23% from 9.8%.

We call our country as Bharat and Hindustan. The root word of Hindustan is ‘Hindu’ and ‘Bharat’ is also a word from Devanagri. So technically our country is of Hindu origin and Muslims are our guest or mehman as they landed on our motherland much later. Despite this fact we have treated them with great honour by offering them citizenship, fundamental rights and even subsidies in the name of minority quota. Even after giving them such luxuries, when we hear certain news about ‘intolerance’, ‘award vaapsi’ ‘we want freedom’, the blood of patriotic and nationalist citizen boils at 500 ℃. Why cannot we live at peace with each other? Who do you blame for this ongoing ‘Anti-India ‘campaign across various Indian universities? Why is #ISIS finding its roots so easily in India? All these thoughts traverse in the back of my mind and keep asking the same question time and again, “Are we really secular”?   

The dictionary meaning of Secular is - not connected with religious or spiritual matters or of clergy) not subject to or bound by religious rule; not belonging to or living in a monastic or other order. By this definition it is clear that our country cannot be secular in any way. We have people from different faiths and religions and are engaged in a constant hate war with each other to prove the worthiness of each religion. We have witnessed lot of intolerance debate recently. My viewpoint on this issue is that one should remain tolerant only when his/her belief is not shaken. Once that point of reached, Newton’s 3^rd law applies and you are authorized to reply back in a wise manner. Getting physical is not a solution but holds “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind” to be true.

It is high time we realize that there are certain black sheep amongst us who are playing cheap politics to continue burning the fire for their vested interests. But as they say, “.No one can escape Karma. Karma comes back and comes back strongly because Karma is a Bitch”.

Lastly I want to quote Bhagvadgita, chapter 4, verse 11,

All who in whatever way surrender unto me, I reward them accordingly. All mankind follows my path, O Arjuna, in all respects.

On the contrary taking a cue from Holy Quran,

Clearly, both religious scriptures promote love and brotherhood but there is a catch. Both preach their own path. I would leave it unto you to decide what is right and wrong. I have chosen my religion and it is ~ Humanity. 

Space War

#ColgateMagicalStories

It is a bright sunny Sunday morning and Raghu as usual is insisting to play his favorite game – ‘Alien Attack’. After an hour of his stubbornness, his mother gave in and told him to go but warned him to be back before dark. Kids as usual don’t pay heed to parent’s advice. He called Ram to join his bandwagon. Soon after Raghu, Ram and Alia went to nearby park with their mission kit to play Alien attack. In the meantime they were discussing about their playing strategy, Alia’s got distracted by a sharp reflection of white light. She got curious and followed the reflection. In a couple of minutes, she shouted and her other two companions joined her. A big oval shaped thing was lying before them with a glass window on top. Suddenly the window opened and they could see three chairs in it. All of them stepped inside and took their respective seats. The window top closed. The mysterious machine started beeping loudly. The trio got scared. Soon after a message in bold red appeared on a LCD screen in front of them,” Wear seat belt. It is for your own safety”. They swung into action and tied themselves firmly. The machine made a loud sound and lifted itself from the ground and started revolving in clockwise motion. It was like spin cycle of automatic washing has begun. In a flash of a minute they were in dark sky, surrounded by big huge circular planets staring angrily at them as if they were questioning the entry of intruders in their area. The spaceship flew at never imagined speed and reached a land full of snow. The LCD display outside showed -150 degree Celsius. Three warm suits dropped from above their seats and a harsh male voice commanded them to wear the suits. Then they were asked to follow the glowing pathway lights up to a distant castle.

“Welcome to the land of Pluto”.

I am the king of this land,”BigMac”.

Raghu asked the king,”My lord, why we have been brought here?”

The king gestured towards his left. A meek fellow with white hair, big black spectacles stood and began to speak. I am Dr Morpan, researcher at Pluto. We have found that people from Earth are constantly trying to intrude our land by sending in rockets and astronauts. You people are so much power hungry that you fight your own people for land, food, money and now you are making our lives miserable. Then he showed them a movie over the past 10 years how mankind has really polluted their atmosphere and their ill effects on them. At the end of the movie, Dr Morepan said,” We have kidnapped you and we want to negotiate with your people to leave our land or else you have to die”. A big monstrous laugh leaves them stunned.

Meanwhile on Earth, Raghu’s mother got worried when he didn’t turn up before dark. It was 08:00 PM now. She searched the entire society, checked with security if Raghu went outside the gate. When nothing worked out, she went to police station to register an FIR. On the other hand, ISRO received an extra terrestrial message saying, “We have Raghu, Ram, and Alia. Leave Pluto, we leave them”. There was a emergency alert sounded in entire country. Home minister ordered to attack Pluto and bring back the kids safe and sound. ISRO planned a nuclear warfare and planted MISSLE1990 targeting Pluto. Minutes before the launch, they sent a warning message to Pluto asking them to surrender and handover the kids. Dr Morepan analyzed the missile power and advised the King to surrender else they will meet their end. The king got terrified and asked his council to send a message of ceasefire to Earth.

Raghu, Alia and Ram were back in their park. When asked where they went, all they could recall was nothing about their extra terrestrial trip. 

“I’m blogging my #ColgateMagicalstories at BlogAdda in association with Colgate.

6 Degrees: Game of Blogs review

I must appreciate #Blogadda for conceptualizing the idea of collaborating different bloggers and bring them on a common platform to think and write a story. I would like to congratulate all the 30 bloggers who worked passionately day in and day out to create this piece crafted with precision. What I liked most about the book is that the characters in all the three stories are the same and the reader doesn’t get lost as he/she progresses towards the end. #Blogadda has given a nice platform for the creative bloggers to come forward and pen down their creations in the form of a book and let the world know about it. I truly enjoyed reading the book and being a book critic this time, I would love to be a part of the writing team whenever #Blogadda is launching the second edition. I will review each story one by one. The first story is ‘The Awakening’ is a sci-fi story of the aliens planning to attack the Earth and take it under its control and on the other hand there are good aliens who want to thwart their attack by trying to awaken their long lost noble alien Clariota. The story is beautifully crafted with an apt pace which grips the reader and doesn’t allow him/her to close the book until the story is over. The second story is about a murder mystery. The reader is on his/her toes until the very last when the clouds of suspicion are scattered and the real killer is revealed. The story ‘Missing’ I find it to be apt title for a movie. And the last story is on a very delicate subject especially in a conservative society like India. A young man who turns out to be homosexual is raped by his seniors at college. He couldn’t tell his family due to the fear of rejection; he decides to pursue his dream of casting a movie with Amitabh Bachhan and heads out to Mumbai. In Mumbai confusion prevails when a little girl Roohi goes missing and her parents thought she has been kidnapped by Cyrus. The story is neatly written with a lot of twists and turns. The writer has left the story open ended for the reader to create a chain of thoughts what could have happened next which I like the most. Apart from the good things there are few grammatical mistakes in the book here and there. But in the last story the I noticed a unusual thing that chapter 18 appeared immediately after chapter 8. Another thing in all the three stories which I found amusing is that the writers have shown a role reversal for the man and the wife. I wonder if they are pointing to a gen-next era. That is the food for thought left by the writer for the reader to ponder over. Overall I would recommend this book to everyone who is looking for a material which is sweet, short and simple. Go for it folks. 

6 Degrees is India's first book published through collaborative blogging, written completely by bloggers for the Game of Blogs activity at BlogAdda. Know more about Game of Blogs here. You can buy 6 Degrees: Game of Blogs if you liked the review.

This review is a part of the biggest Book Review Program for IndianBloggers. Participate now to get free books.

P.S. Do comment in the below box with your view or suggestions for further improvement. Namaste!!!

The seat beside her was empty…

Travelling so much fun and the enjoyment is dwindled when you travel in any of the public transport. I have been using  public transport services from past 16 years and whenever  I am travelling alone, I had always desire my co-passenger to be a young beautiful lady. But life has been so cruel to me. 

Until recently I have decided to dump the famous line by SRK,"जिस चीज़ को जितना चाहो ,पुरी क़ायनात लग जाती है उसे पाने के लिए" when the fateful day happened which changed my life forever. It was onset of winter in early November when I was on vacation and travelling to Jammu from Bangalore. I was excited to celebrate Diwali with my parents after 3 long years. I planned my travel in short term and thus I had no other option but to travel by train. Unfortunately I didn't get a confirmed ticket and had to travel on RAC ticket from SBC to NDLS in 3-tier coach of Rajdhani express. I was determined to go and one good thing was that I had got atleast half the seat. I only prayed to God to send some lady as my sharing partner- कम से कम सफ़र में मुझे Suffer नहीं करना पड़ेगा . Yes, I was being selfish :)

As a practice, IRCTC doesn't allot RAC seat to persons of opposite gender but as a luck by chance I was lucky to find a young lady in her late 20s already occupying the berth. WoW! Thank God.  I checked the berth no and placed my luggage beneath  the berth and greeted the lady,"Hello maam". With a great effort I politely asked her to make some space for me to sit. In fact I wanted her to rest her legs on me (I was being courteous as my long desire was fulfilled).  By her accent and skin texture, I was 100% sure, she was from Delhi. She has untied her long curly black hair and a small strand of her hair was disturbing her left eye and she was using her left hand to place it behind her ear. But the stubborn hair kept falling again and again. She was wearing a sleeveless kurti and a off white legging. She was looking damn beautiful and it became difficult to move my eyes away from her and everytime I saw her, I started  loving her even more. After our dinner, it was past 10'o clock and she started yawning. I started the conversation and told her to sleep comfortably and I just need some space to sit. Reality was that I just wanted to observe her forever.  खूबसूरत है जो इतना सहा नहींजाता , the song kept reverberating in my mind. She shook me out of my reverie and said,"We can sleep on same berth."

I said to myself,"If she doesn't have any problem, then why should I worry.

After all she is a Delhi girl and Delhi girls are too extrovert and flirtatious". We spread our bed-sheet and slept on the same berth under the same blanket. After sometime she was snoring loudly and I was not getting any sleep as I was just on the edge of the berth and any moment I could fall. I pushed myself a little and moved my leg over her and hugged her with my right arm. I hugged him so tightly that I could feel her chest and my virgin organ was touching her ass. She didn't wake up and started moaning. Suddenly she turned around and started kissing  me. I reached my climax and was about to burst. Suddenly I came back to my senses to see me all drenched in sweat and breathing heavily in the chill of 3-tier AC compartment.

The lady was staring at me with a question in her mind and she asked,"Are you okay?"

I said," Yes but I need some fresh air and I went outside, opened the door to let the air brush my hair and face".

I came back and told her to sleep until 03:00 AM when I will take my turn to sleep. This way we took turns sleeping and passed the night. The whole episode of my dreams  was in my mind and I couldn't make eye contact with her as I was feeling guilty. The next night also we did the same and early morning we reached New Delhi station. I picked my luggage and said 'Goodbye' to the lady of my fantasy world and left the station as quickly as I can.

I realized that in the journey of 35 hours we didn't even introduced ourselves and I just committed a heinous crime of fantasizing with her. I asked for forgiveness from God and wished not to ask for a lady co-passenger again in future.

‘This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’

Chronicles of Monday

            

The joy of weekend among many professionals working 24*5 in MNC has led to the genesis of TGIF concept. One would normally find people leaving office early on Friday evening on one pretext or the other and fixing up party venue with their near and dear. One sees a heavy rush at liquor shops and even in bars and if you are unfortunate you may have to shell out extra bucks to get the choice of brand you prefer- stock finishes up much faster on weekend. For the married folks, Friday night is the only time when they can gulp few beers, relax and live life in their own way lest they have the task to take their wife and children out for shopping and purchasing of daily राशन -पानी over the weekend. And then comes the special appearance- The Big Sunday (रविवार) is a day to rest at home and prepare your mind for the monstrous Monday. The mere thought of Monday suffocates a working person to trauma. For most people Monday is like getting ready for a battle. I have been living in Delhi for the last 10 months and I have observed a choking traffic on every Monday than other days. It seems most people bunk office after Monday. If I were given the power, I would delete Monday from my life. Again it makes no sense as deleting Monday will expose Tuesday as the next day after Sunday. Anyway Monday seems no less than a monster to me. It is the longest day of the week with lots and lots of meetings. It is also true that I have a glance at my watch more number of times than any other days of the week. On the other side of the story I truly sympathize with women who are home managers. At least we professionals or working class have a reason to celebrate weekend but housewives who works 24*7 are not allowed a single day off. For them there is no weekend or Monday. We should think of them and give them at least a day off from their routine duties and serve them self cooked food or take them out for movie and outing. For mothers of school going kids have a tough time to wake them on Monday. I have also observed that when we are happy and enjoying the moment, time flies very fast. On the contrary when we are sad, life just slogs like a tortoise. Same thing happens with Monday. I remember one incident when I had to ask leave for a week from my manager and my Team lead advised me not to meet my manager on Monday as he always had a bad mood on Monday. I went on Tuesday and got my leave confirmed. Monday, thus is a day when employees are low on motivation and as the week approaches Friday, they get a fresh life in them. Hence, it is this reason that organizations keep Thursday as the day to start any new project or asking a new recruit to join them.

I am listing a few funny and humorous messages of one-liners we usually get on whatsapp on every Sunday night. 

 

 
 

‘This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’

The Wrong 'Touch'...

On one regular Monday morning, Sunita woke up to the cacophonic sound of the alarm at 06:00 AM. She prepared morning breakfast for her husband and 4 year old daughter, Iha in a hushed manner. After dropping Iha to her school bus she began getting ready for her office. She kissed her husband on her forehead and left for metro station. As it was already peak hours she didn’t get a seat in metro and was upset over the fact that even ladies reserved seat was occupied by women passengers. As the metro moved closer to the heart of the city, it got more and more packed. No place to even breathe and people jostling to find a square inch to stand. In such a crowd, there are people with filthy mind who tend to find ways to feel women at the wrong areas. But I must tell you, God has given women a special power to identify between wrong and good touch. Sunita was standing holding the bar when she suddenly felt something bony hard moving on her bum. She glanced back with a tough look but she noticed a innocent looking boy in his early twenties giving her a sheepish smile. She ignored him. After few minutes she again noticed some movement on her back now. She turned around and spotted the same young boy. This time she couldn’t control her anger and bluntly told him to be in his limits or less he will get a beating of his lifetime. Meanwhile the train reached Rajiv Chowk metro station. She had to get down to change the line. As a usual scene at Rajiv Chowk metro station, the people outside are more enthusiastic to board than allowing passengers inside to get down. The reason there is always a jam like situation. Sunita was getting down and a man from the opposite direction was coming in and when they were almost few inches apart he pushed Sunita at her chest and went inside. Sunita was left shocked and stunned. She was damn sure it was a deliberate attempt to press her breasts and not an accident. All this is a regular scene in Delhi metro and I am sure this must be a regular scene in any public transport. The purpose of my writing this post is to let all male chauvinist men realize that they do have sisters, mothers at home and someday karma will hit them back. It is high time to understand that women are not mere object of enjoyment but they are also human beings. Learn to give them respect they deserve. They too have the same right to live free on this planet as you have. I hope you have learnt a lesson. 

Please do share and spread to others.

‘This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’