रेलगाड़ी: A messy affair...

I have been a regular commuter of Indian railways shuttling between New Delhi and Jammu quite often. My रेलगाड़ी  story dates back to my college days when I used to travel in sleeper class on waitlisted or confirmed ticket. Those were the days when online booking facility from www.irctc.co.in was not born yet. We used to wake up at 06:00 in the morning and reach the reservation office at least an hour before the window open time. I still remember the time when I slept on the floor of the sleeper coach. I believe it was the joy of going home plus the ‘student bonus’ which pushes one to travel by sleeping on the floor. But today after 9 years I am so used to travelling in 3 tiers that I cannot think of travelling in sleeper class. Moreover the sleeper class scenario has changed today. Now second class which was used to be 9 years back has upgraded to sleeper class status. Sleeper class is now in lot of chaotic condition.

My travel escapade has been more of a 'Suffer' than comfortable 'सफ़र'. It has been a messy affair for me always. On one such journey from Jammu to Agra in Jhelum express, I had to forgo my gifted हिमाचली टोपी and tibetian jacket from 3^rd AC coach. On another occasion, I forgot my glasses in train while de-boarding at New Delhi station. The best part is I always get confused with train numbers- Duronto express and Udhampur AC special to be in particular. These two trains run on alternate days from Udhampur on same time i.e 1920 hours. On one such fateful day I was waiting for Duronto express at Jammu Tawi station along with my father. The train didn't show up. On platform 3, Udhampur AC special arrived at 1915 hours. At 1915 hours my father asked me to check my ticket and to my surprise I had to be in platform 3. I made a mockery of myself. How can I be so careless? I promised not to repeat it again. But I made the same blunder again in a span of 1 month. Since that day I haven’t messed up so far with train numbers but I am not sure how long this will last ;).

We all are aware that consuming liquor in train is illegal but I want to confess that I drank twice and had one of a joyride. Many of us have travelled in Rajdhani train and we must have experienced that the person serving food will come at the end of the meal asking for सेव-पानी. Passengers will give away ten/twenty bucks either willingly/un-willingly. I too used to pay the person ten bucks but yesterday I realized this is wrong. Why should we pay the person? That is his work and he is getting paid for it. सेव-पानी amounts to corruption which we should avoid. Next time keep this in mind and bluntly refuse to pay anything. With all such messy affairs I love travelling by train because every-time I look back at my blunders, I smile at myself but I do learn and try to make it the last error in judgement. 

P.S. Keep watching this space for more travel affairs. Do comment please. 

The Art of Drinking...

It was 08:00 PM on a bitter cold December evening when a TV commercial flashed before my eyes,   ” McDowell’s Soda and Music CDs”. By the time the commercial finished, I had already ordered my servant to make a large ‘On the rocks’ scotch for me with Delhi’s spicy tandoori Momos and peanuts. Cheers!!!

In India, one who consumes alcohol is considered as ‘untouchable’ by one who doesn't drink. It is a subject which people often hide it from their wives, girlfriends or parents. While I was having my glass of scotch, I did an introspection as to why alcohol is a serious problem in India. Let me just list a few problems here:

1.       Alcohol is seen as the main reason of women abuse/teasing.

2.       Alcohol is seen as the cause of road accidents.

3.       Too much intake causes liver cancer.

Why a person behaves irrationally or exhibits weird behaviour in an inebriated state? The reason is that alcohol has a direct effect on our nervous system. In our body there is a master gland known as ‘Pituitary gland’ or ‘छोटा दिमाग़ ‘ which controls the functions of other endocrine glands. Alcohol makes this gland handicapped and thus the person couldn't control his thinking capability or even his walk and speech. The problem lies in the fact that when we start drinking we have a starting point but our finishing point is pushed every time we are nearing it and we stop when we either puke or run out of money. There is a very well know line,” Do not let alcohol take control of you”. If you can do it, then you can truly enjoy your drink and wake up fresh the next morning. Also I have observed in India people gulp their drink in one go. What’s the hurry? Nobody is snatching your drink. Take a small sip, look around and talk to your साकी. And there are people who eat lot more चखना than the amount of drink they take. Always follow the rule of 1:3,”After every 3 sips, take a small amount of चखना”. Now let’s come to most important part of drinking,” How to make a drink?”. Never ever mix cold drink in Scotch/Whisky/Rum. They are to be consumed with Soda/water or on the rocks only when it is premium Scotch whisky (RS, McDowell’s No 1, BP, Signature etc. are not to be consumed raw). Pour 30 ml or 60 ml in a standard whisky glass and then add soda or water according to your preference in the ratio of 1:3. It is very good if you know your limits or if you are not sure then stick to 3 or 4. Always remember never drive after consuming alcohol, instead book a taxi.

In my opinion, our education system must include a subject on drinking etiquettes. Sooner or later we will be graduating from college and in corporate world we will be attending official parties. With the current drinking habits we will become a laughing stock or we may even face disciplinary action due to our weird behaviour. It is a hard fact that the authorities can prohibit people from drinking in certain premises but they cannot stop anyone from boozing. Rather they should train them how to drink in ‘corporate style’ or the way of Corporate-drinking. We must design a code of conduct for drinking responsibly and remember it by heart. Which glass to pick for which kind of drink? How to hold the glass? How to offer someone a drink? How much to drink? 

Drinking should be seen as a celebration. It is a way to liberate you from all mundane troubles of life. As they say too much of everything is bad, so be in your limits if you want to live longer. I always advise my fellow drinkers to ‘drink responsibly’ and do not forget to invite me for a drinking session with you. 

!!!Happy Boozing!!!

P.S. All the above view are my own and do not target anybody in particular. I have tried to cover all aspects but in case I missed any point do leave it in your comments. 

Citizen Matters Bangalore: My Post

A post regarding concern for my surrounding.

I wrote this article back in 2014 when I was working in Tech Mahindra Bangalore after getting pissed off with the ever increasing garbage filth and stench in Elctronic City Phase-2.

Do visit the link and post your comments.

!!!Life in a Fast Lane!!!

                                                                                                                                
It has been 10 months I have bid adieu to Bangalore to be landed in the ‘Bhaiya’ capital of India. After having lived in Bangalore for 5 years, I have become resistant to the scorching summers and bone chilling winters of North India. The solution to winter season is easy: bunk classes-stay under your quilt-wear woollens and keep a bottle of ‘Old Monk XXX Rum’ all time with you. Thank God I didn’t have to face the brunt of Delhi winters and the season was passed joyfully. But now I am facing the wrath of Sun God. And worst of all I have do my 6-8 weeks of summer intern-ship. God has been very unkind with me these days. I am a late riser and these days I have to get up at 06:00 in the morning to be in office by 09:00. I have been commuting for about 4 hours in Delhi metro plus shared auto daily. I never had any kind of skin problems before in my life but in these 10 months I am getting one after the other skin related ailments. और गर्मी तो ऐसे है की बर्फ की सिल्ली लेकर चलना बेहतर है. Let me share my observations on the people of NCR.

If you happen to travel in a metro during peak hours, you will be astonished to see the crowd in such a rush. People are running from one end to other and making every effort to catch a foot space in metro if not a place to sit. I do not understand the fact that when we have a metro running every 2-5 minutes then why people want to get on the metro which is already jam packed and no place to even breathe. For shorter persons like me, we get crushed in the crowd and worst of all our nose gets blinded by the seat soaked under arms of taller commuters. It gets even worse when a fart machine is travelling with you. Usually it takes me about 90 minutes from Noida sector-15 to Dwarka sector-12 and I have now observed umpteen ways how people spend their travel time. Some prefer to take a power nap while others listen to FM radio, play games, read novels, gossip (very common among school kids or couples) and quite a few like me secretly scans pretty women. And coming to expenses, Delhi/Gurgaon/Noida are damn expensive cities as compared with Bangalore or Hyderabad. Boozing in an AC bar in Gurgaon/Delhi will pay heavily on your pocket. Lastly a  caution to all the first time visitors to the city of ‘Bhaiyas’, keep your eyes and mind wide open lest बंदे यहाँ के कब मुहँ से हाथ डाल के पिछवाड़े से निकलेंगे पता भी नही चलेगा.   

P.S. ‘Bhaiya’ is not to be taken seriously. The word is used just to create humour. Otherwise I have huge respect for people from UP/Bihar as they are better known for building India.

Mobile app: Smarter way to surf

“Get smarter with a smartphone- Anonymous”

Today it is a rarity to find a person who doesn’t own a smartphone. Smartphones have become our foster babies. Be it restaurants, Malls, Public transport or even pedestrians we see people involved in multitasking. This human invention is such a compact, handy and powerful device in your hand which powers you to browse, share and get information of almost anything on the move. You don’t need to carry your bulky laptops all the time to do some of your lite odd jobs using your smartphone. Need not to mention smartphones cannot do high end computing tasks but yes, it has eased a lot of pressure off Laptops/PCs. Moreover not everyone owns a PC or Laptop but yes they do have a smartphone. The reason is well known-‘MRP’. You own a smartphone for as low as 5000 today. Indeed Smartphone has become a fashion statement of our lives.

Let us take a look at what are our smartphones are capable of today. You can book movie tickets, air tickets, check IPL scores, browse Facebook feeds, watch videos on Youtube , play games and so on. All of this can be done on the move with the assistance of available Mobile apps developed by our techie geeks. A big round of applause for our Mobile app developer  who are putting in all their efforts to give us glitch free apps.

Let us consider a real life situation. You are sitting in office pretending to be very busy in your work :) Suddenly you phone pops a message,” Wish your wife Happy Birthday”. Bang on!!! Forgetting birthday of your better half can be catastrophic. Now you don’t have the courage to wish her so late. What to do? You decide to surprise her by a gift, a nice outfit or jewelry or a beautiful watch but you don’t have time to go out and shop. You decide to order a gift online. Unfortunately your office network doesn’t allow you to open Myntra website :(. Suddenly your hand slips into your pocket and you take out your…………………………….brand new iPhone 6 :). You download Myntra app from iOS store in less than cooking time of Maggi noodles:). You access Myntra mobile app on your smartphone and order the gift for same day delivery with a click of a button. You have your moment of joy. It is that simple and I mean it :) After a few minutes of relaxation, you again sprang up from your cushioned seat with a thought,” How would a Birthday look like without a cake?  My wife would kill me for sure?”. You call your friend and he suggests you to order from #fnp. Fortunately you have a mobile app for it. Finally you are through and have saved yourself from constant nagging of your wife until her next birthday. And all of this is possible because of Mobile apps available on your smartphone.

Mobile apps on Smartphone have given us the mobility. Shopping using mobile apps you can avoid your time and energy in bargaining with shopkeepers. We have the ease to compare the product price, check reviews on multiple apps before finally buying the product. We need to think in terms of conserving energy and time and utilizing the same elsewhere in more constructive tasks. Mobile apps also gives us the ease of browsing, selecting and ordering product from comfort of our air conditioned rooms when outside temperature is soaring at 44 degrees.

Smartphones are easy to operate and you don’t require any extra coaching to learn it. Even a kid of 5 years and above can operate a smartphone effectively and even better than you. Mobile apps are the future which gives you a rich experience in shopping. Join the mobile app bandwagon today and wish you Happy Surfing :)

Pre-Marital Sex "Y/N"

"Tring Tring". The song from the movie Aashiqui2~ Hum tere bin reh nahi sakte reverbrated the hostel room. A cheerful Raj answers the call to hear inconsolably sobbing Simran. After a brief 2 minutes, Simran initiated the first word,"Positive". Raj was stunned to silence. He couldn't muster courage to speak up anything. How could he be so careless? Had if he spent extra 10 bucks he could have avoided the shocking revelation. The question kept hovering his mind and he maintained silence. Simran continued again. Will you marry me Raj? Marriage is the only thing which can silence the blabbering mouths of our society. I don't want to live my life as a murdererer for the rest of my life? Raj didn't speak and disconnected the call. For the next few days he shied away from taking anymore calls from her and even changed his contact number. Simran felt cheated and decides to end up her life. After graduating from college, Raj gets a job with MNC and marries a girl of his parents choice.This is just one case to talk about. Had if Raj taken extra care, such situation wouldn't have taken place. But question that needs answer,"Is it right for these two love birds to indulge in secret act for years together?" Let's understand what is Sex and the society we are living in and we will get our answer.

We have come to an age where the gender gap is coming closer and communication channel is opening up. Couple of decades ago, people would shy away from expressing love in public. There was a time when talking to a girl was considered inappropriate let alone kissing, making love or live together before marriage. In times of today, men and women are having a merry time enjoying each other's company. Talking, Kissing, Partying has become a common scene today but 'Sex' remains a taboo, even though everyone likes to do it behind the walls without anyone knowing it. Apart from cosying we have witnessed a rising trend where men and women bravely taking a bold step forward to end up losing it all before marriage. It doesn't matter to them even if they are going to end up getting married or not. All they care for is that very moment of joy and enchantment which they want to live together. But the big question before us is 'Is pre-marital sex okay?' Infact the word Sex is itself misonomer and shoudl be called 'Sexuality'. Sex is what exists in animals who don't have the mind to experience the flow of energy through their body. Sexuality is the energy which arises when two bodies come in close proximity to each other and both experience this energy with a full concious mind. I would rather like to rephrase this question to,"Are we bold enough to accept this change?"

           Few decades ago, our society considered 'Sex' as immoral if one had sex before marriage or someone has illicit relationship with xyz. Morality was synonymous to Sex in those times. Actually Sex is a joyful game where 2 souls play and exchange each other bodily energies. Why should anyone be bothered by it? But the society we are living in has imposed this thought in our mind that Sex is bad unless one is authorized to do so. By authoirized I mean legally wedded by everyone's consent. It is okay to talk to the opposite gender, kiss and make love with him/her. It should mean absolute enjoyment for both souls lest it becomes a liability or moral burden. As in the above incident, Raj and Simran went a step ahead where their energy is transformed into a third soul. Raj doesn't have the courage to accept it and convince his parents to marry Simran and thus decided to dump her. That was immoral and cannot be justified by any reasoning. It is utmost necessary to be in concious state of mind while making out love with your partner no matter the two of you are bonded legally or not.

It is not a question of Yes or No to marital Sex, it is rather a question which we should ask our fully concious mind. Are we mature enough to do the right thing? Is our act justified enough? Just be sure to enjoy the pleasure but don't end up on crossroads like Raj and Simran ended up.

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'Fresh N Pure' , I call it 'Magic'

Alas!!! The day which every single bourgeois human being try to deceive has yet again arrived. It is a part of a cycle which is unavoidable. People call it Monday; I call it 'Shrieking Monday' after a fantastic 'freaking Sunday and Saturday. To avoid the morning hustle and bustle of the city traffic, I take a early head start from home. In fact, the secret to my early start is to avoid anger of my bald boss on reaching late to office. My office is a sweet 30 minutes drive from my home, without a single minute stoppage at red light. Before I start from home, I give a call to one of my #FreshNHappy colleague who lives at the end of the street. After picking her up we hit the Indian road to our office. It would be a waste of time to explain here how tidy and clean we bachelors are. We wear same underwear 'inside out' for 2-3 days. We don't care if are socks are dirty and emanating a pungent smell more bad than rotten egg. But yes we do care to look #FreshNHappy always. We apply gel, comb our hair well and spray half bottle of deodorant on our body. Infact we owe a lot to the revenue of deodorant companies. But we do at times brazen ourselves by secretly farting in public. Back to my car where I and my colleague, Rachita are inching closer to our office with every passing second. This is the only time when I want the clock to stop and I can feel the morning freshness of her wet hair. To make the mood more romantic, I switch on the A/C and play some soft Kishore da's songs on stereo player. It has been couple of months before we started car pooling to office. Since that day, I fell for her and I am pretty sure it is a one sided story but I don't want to take any chances and not telling my feelings for her. All these thoughts were raveling in my mind when all of a sudden a huge bump on the road went unnoticed and the jerk creates a pressure which I am unable to withhold. The result was a 'silent biological blast'. Before I open the window, the polluted air had entered Rachita's nostrils. She looked at me like a sheriff has caught a thief and I feel really embarrassed. In exasperation, I too cover my nose and abuse the Indian unhygienic surroundings. Somehow I reach office and the day ended in a sad note. In the evening, I sat with my friend Monk to share my grief. All of a sudden, an advertisement about #Ambi #Pur mini vent clip appeared on TV. A heap of rotten smelling specimen was placed besides blind-folded persons and was told to smell the air. No surprise what the reaction would be. I decided to give it a try and if it worked then I can avoid such embarrassing situations in future. Above all I can fart as much as I can. Thanks to #Ambi #Pur for giving such a magical device which really makes atmosphere #FreshNHappy. I am married to Rachita and we have two beautiful kids.